As Written by Timothy Makasa
If the strongest man is the one who stands alone, then Kyevaluki Hill is the strongest on the horizon. It stands tall, carrying some of the biggest rocks as if other hills feared her, thinking she would stone them if they got too close.
On one side of this mighty hill is home to Kanui—the man who owned an entire hill slope and had a shopping center named after him, KWA KANUI, which later became the capital city of Kyevaluki County. If not for many things, Kwa Kanui was known for one legendary posho mill, a true demigod to the great people of this area.
On the other side of Mlima Kyevaluki, opposite Kyevaluki ABC Church and the archaic cattle dip, is the legendary home of the great Surgeon Kilungu. Kilungu (which in Hebrew means portion) performed more skin surgeries than anyone else in Kyevaluki, Kiomo, Muusini, Mbondeni, Kyanda, and even Musoa—yet with no formal education. Kilungu’s hands worked only on boys, making him the renowned Boy-Man Converter. Maybe the gods of Mlima Kyevaluki gave Kilungu (Portion) the divine power to cut the portions.
I can hear you asking: Where did he take all those skin pieces he cut from the boys? I am still investigating, but one thing is clear—Kilungu’s cats and dogs were always fat. A story for another day.
Past Mbondeni, on the leeward side of the hill, lived one man for many: His Majesty Ivalo, a father to dozens and perhaps the man who inspired the title of Paul B. Vitta’s book Fathers of Nations. Ivalo was not just skilled at marrying wives; he was excellent at keeping them too. If you had seen him walking with that jungle-green pointer bag from Kyevaluki on Tuesdays and Fridays, you would know he meant business in fending for his kins.
The late Ivalo will never die, I dare.
Then came the 1998 El Niño rains, rains that dared even the mighty Mlima Kyevaluki, and she seemed to shudder. You should have heard Kitaa, the brother to Kanyele, swearing, “I swear by my grandmother’s petticoat, this hill is erupting.” Others, like Kimulu, were convinced that the proud hill was being carved into a valley by erosion.
Either way, rocks the size of ten-story buildings tumbled down, creating roads where there had been none.
In the chaos, some of Ivalo’s many houses disappeared under thick mud. Worse still, his donkey, Kavisi, got stuck, buried up to the neck with his eyes wide in confusion. Not even the bold and brave, like Kisambo, dared to pull Ivalo’s pickup out. Kavisi was completely swallowed by the earth.
For once, we almost saw Ivalo shaken. But a man with so many homes can never be reported missing. Even Malalo, Telela, Kanui, Mwea, and Kaleli could attest to this.
On the other side of the hill—the Kiomo side—things were no better. Kakonyi’s famous hotel, home to the largest mandazis in Kiomo and beyond, survived by a whisker. A massive rock rolled from the hilltop, carving a fresh highway toward Kiomo market, leaving Kakonyi, Kinama, and William staring in disbelief.
The huge rock stopped inches from Kiomo market, leaving a rock-made road so visible that people traveled from as far as Kithunthi, the home of Kitemange, just to witness what had happened. Others came from Thinu, eager to see what many called the moment Mlima Kyevaluki experienced her menarche. A moment for the history books.
If you were a true historian, you would have asked Masaku, father to the famous Francis Makau (known in Hebrew as Sanzi), about those days and how tough the season was.
Masaku would tell you how terrifying it was for him to sleep with a rock the size of Mars hanging above his house, waiting to descend at any moment.
But who is God? The rock hangs there to this day.
Those were not the best of times, but maybe they explain why, even today, Mlima Kyevaluki stands with tangible pride. She is so innocent in looks yet carries so much divine power that instead of housing snow on the top, the very top is a prayer center, a holy “shrine” for christians.
Ideally, one would expect to meet hyenas up there, but instead, people travel from as far as Ngolyau in Nthele; only to meet God there.
This is a hill with many lives, a mountain that never stops amazing us.
Aren’t you amazed?
